Mourning doves and trains

I've taken notice, the last few mornings...I hear the mourning doves on the roof of the neighbor's house. They may have been there all winter, but it seems that only now I'm turning a keen ear to hear them again. And now and then, I hear a train rolling by, two miles down the road from my house. And those two sounds, together, remind me of my childhood...hot summer days and snowy Thanksgivings in the sleepy town of Chapin, Illinois. The first time I remember hearing mourning doves was when I would first wake up in my grandpa's house...I couldn't have been more than six or eight years old. And the train would come through Chapin twice a day, if I remember correctly...once early morning and again around 10pm. If I think about it, I can still smell my grandpa's house, the warm feeling when I walked through the back door into the kitchen; I can see the old stove, the white enamel table that sat against the window, right next to the sink. When I close my eyes, I can still walk through the house...the leaded glass in the front door that, when the sunlight hit it just right, would throw colored light into the foyer. It was here, in Chapin, that I grew to love the simplicity that life could hold...time was just on hold when I came here. 

My sweet grandpa ran the only general store in this town of 300...a store that smelled of nutmeg and aged wood, and sold everything from union suits to nails to Borax. I acquired a taste for ice cold Frostie Root Beer and cinnamon candies, scalloped oysters (without the oysters), pumpkin pie and Norman Rockwell.

And my grandpa was a treasure to me...the only grandparent I ever knew...and what a fascination he held for me! Somehow, those sights and smells and sounds seem to be right here, right in front of me now, and I can remember the peace and joy I found in the simple gentleness of those days in southern Illinois. 

Now, I sit before my computer, sometimes still fighting a losing battle with technology, video downloads and weak internet connections on my iphone. And off in the distance, I might hear the distant horn on the passing train or the sweet cooing of the doves next door, and I stop...and I'm thankful. I'm am thankful for the One who brought me into my family, into this time and this place, for such a time as this. All those days in Chapin, the days of my childhood, the mistakes and wrong turns of young adulthood, have all brought me to today...and I am who I am by His grace alone! I am thankful that the tapestry of my life included so much family, so many experiences, richness and brokenness. And so I've come to another day, shaped and fashioned for His use and His glory...and I'm thankful for it all. 

Gracious Father, would you remind me today, to embrace the simplicity of sitting quietly in Your presence, seeing the beauty of creation and hearing you speak gently through Your word. And help me to be thankful for every good gift that comes from Your generous hand.

His Moonrise Kingdom

 

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father,

There is no shadow of turning with Thee,

Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not

as Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.

Great is Thy faithfulness, great is Thy faithfulness!

Morning by morning new mercies I see.

All I have needed Thy hand hath provided -

great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest,

sun, moon and stars in their courses above,

join with all nature in manifold witness

to Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

In the last year, I've become much more aware of the moon; and, more specifically, the moonrise.

Last year, John and I were sitting outside looking over the Atlantic around 10:30 at night...there was a slight wind blowing on what seemed to be a rather cloudless night. As I gazed out at the horizon (which is difficult to make out in the dark!), I saw an indistinct light appear in the distance. At first I thought maybe it was a distant ship...I'd never seen anything like it! And it was growing larger, shining brighter...and I realized it wasn't a ship, but the full moon rising, slowly ascending, until I could see the full globe, brightly reflecting the sun's light. The moon was big...I'd never before seen it like I did that night! And since that night, whenener we are returning to that spot, I will check the moonrise schedule to see if I might, once again, spot the beauty of a moonrise on a clear night.

But the moonrise that night has also awakened me to the daily life of the moon...and the fact that, as most days go by, I pay little attention to when the moonrise occurs. The moon rises every day at differing times and in various phases; sometimes the full moon will rise in the middle of the day, and we don't notice and, perhaps, couldn't even see it if it's cloudy or the sky is a very clear, pale blue. If the new moon rises at 10pm on a clear night, we won't see it all. Yet, the moon faithfully rises and sets, whether we're looking for it or not!

And all this 'discovery' of the moon has caused me to reflect on the faithfulness of God. I am keenly aware of His faithfulness when I wake in the morning and find that soon the sun rises, whether the sky is overcast or crystal clear. The rising of the sun is evident every single day...a testimony to His great faithfulness! But still, the moonrise occurs, too. Today, at 11:14 am, the nearly half moon will rise in partly cloudy skies, and I probably won't be looking for it. But it will happen, nonetheless. God is His goodness and faithfulness, is ever present, ever working to accomplish His good purpose and display His great glory whether we're looking or not...and He doesn't forget to have the moon rise!

Sing for joy, O Daughter of Zion;

shout aloud, O Israel!

Be glad and rejoice with all your heart,

O Daughter of Jerusalem!

The LORD has taken away your punishment;

He has turned back your enemy.

Israel’s King, the LORD, is among you;

no longer will you fear any harm.

On that day they will say to Jerusalem:

“Do not fear, O Zion;

do not let your hands fall limp.

The LORD your God is among you;

He is mighty to save.

He will rejoice over you with gladness;

He will quiet you with His love;

He will rejoice over you with singing.”

Zephaniah 3:14-17

I don't know about you, but I've always had a hard time getting my head around the truth packed into this Scripture, but what a treasure it holds!

I grew up in a great family...I was the spoiled baby (I freely admit it, and I think my siblings would agree ;)...but I'm doing much better these days!), I had great siblings, wonderful family vacations, and parents I loved! My dad was part of the “Greatest Generation”...he worked hard at a job he loved, in order to provide well for us all. The only thing I wished I'd had was a closeness with him, an emotional connection. But he was such a good man! I wanted so much to please him and be confident of his love for me, and that moment came in my late 30s, when he told me he loved me and was proud of me. I broke, I wept...I realized that my father really saw me, really cared about me and really loved me. Of course, this was true all along, but I never understood it like I did at that moment.

I realize that not everyone had the same experience with their families as I did, not everyone had loving brothers and sisters, or even a home with both parents present. But even with the blessings that surrounded me growing up, I still spent years walking in the counsel of my own heart...I made so many mistakes, so many foolish decisions, and found myself in so many desolate places; I made ruin of some places in my life. But God really saw me, really cared about me and really loved me...He opened my eyes to see the way He provided for me, paying the penalty for my offense against Him through those dark and desolate days, and clothing me with His righteousness, giving me new life through His Son, Jesus Christ, and making something beautiful out of the life I was living. Such amazing love is beyond my comprehension...He has redeemed the bankrupt days, healed the broken places, and He loves me...He delights in me! In my natural self, I don't understand; but the more I read it and trust the very Word of God, and what it says about HIM (it isn't about me...it's about the way He loves us!), I find myself longing to sit quietly in His love, knowing that in His presence is fullness of joy... I find it welling up in my heart and the things of this life, well, they don't have a hold on me. I long to please my Heavenly Father, not out of compulsion, but because I delight in Him...and He delights in me!

He is beyond me!

 As I worked my way through this past week, I was reminded that the ways of God are beyond my understanding!

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9)

This started me thinking about my frailties and my shortcomings in light of who He is. I am amazed when I think about how much He knows about me...my coming in and my going out, my sitting down and my standing, my thoughts before I even speak them. He even understands my motives better than I do! I have been married to the same man for nearly 35 years, and there are STILL things about him I don't understand; I don't know what he's thinking at any given moment, even though there are times I can finish his sentences. But, sometimes...”What is he doing?” crosses my mind...but God always knows!

I marvel at the creativity of humanity. I will listen to beautifully orchestrated music and I am amazed at the way layers of instrumentation come together, weaving in and out with different rhythms and dynamics, to create a tapestry of sounds that soothes the soul and generates scenes of beauty and grandeur. Or I look at a work of art like Michelangelo's David,

carved out of a solid block of granite, chiseled and smoothed by hand, somehow accentuating muscle and bone to create a life-like portrayal of the young man in his physical prime. But then...I marvel in awe and wonder at the One who gave the composer ability to put notes to paper and artist the skill to craft and shape and detail. None of us is a self-made man; the intricacies of the human body, the way new life is conceived, the way oxygen is transferred to the bloodstream through the lungs, the way the body knows how to absorb the nutrients it needs to carry on life, the way our eyes capture light and allow us to see His magnificent creation. My very breath is a gift from His hand. Man's creativity is as nothing before the One who fashioned him.

And what of love? This I fail to understand in my human limitations. I certainly find it easy to love those who love me, those with whom I find commonality and companionship. But what of those with whom I struggle? What about the people who irritate me and anger me, who take advantage of me...those who never respect me or thank me. In my own humanity, I struggle with loving the difficult and the unlovely. But somehow our Creator loves those who abuse Him and mock Him and disregard Him. His love is perfect...in stark contrast to my love, and I struggle to understand it.

We must never put God in a box, putting on Him the imperfections of our humanity. I may not, and cannot, assume the thoughts and motives of others, but nothing is hidden from Him; all things are laid bare before Him. I may not understand the creative mind within engineers and artists, composers and chemists, but I know the infinitely wise One who called all creation into being with a word. I cannot fathom the love of God for me, one who is so unworthy and so weak; it is beyond my understanding, but it doesn't make it any less true. God's ways are not man's ways. His wisdom, His power, His creativity, His justice, His love...these are the standard. May we never think God is not greater than what our finite, frail human minds can comprehend.

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more 

than all we ask or imagine..."

Ephesians 3:20 (NIV)