Four years later...

It feels strange to come back here...so much has happened in my life over the last few years. I've been growing up, growing older, growing deeper. I am now an empty-nester, living in a 2-bedroom condo instead of a 4-bedroom colonial, working just enough hours to maintain my health insurance and keep out of trouble.  We are settling into our church well, I keep singing every chance I get, and I cherish my husband...32 years and we're still dating! I am a blessed woman!

I am where I am today because the grace of God has brought me this far...nothing I've conjured up in myself, no stick-to-it-iveness I've mustered, no pulling up on my own bootstraps are what woke me this morning. His sovereign grace and goodness are the only things that have seen me through the loss and storms I've weathered in the last two years...the loss of my mother, my father-in-law, my job, my childhood home, my church, my hometown...the only constants in my life were my sweet husband and my faithful, strong Saviour! There were days I didn't want to wake up, didn't want to read the Word or pray; days I felt caught in a swirling cyclone, not knowing which way was up and feeling numb to both joy and grief. Were it not for the fact that He alone has the words of life, I think I would have given up, broken and bruised. But He held me fast...He would not let me go. And so, out of desperation and obedience, I went to the Psalms, where I found the words of David echo in my heart...

"I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices; my flesh also will rest in hope. ...in Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forever." Psalm 16: 8-9, 11

When everything gets stripped away and we realize how brief our lives really are, all we are left with is our relationship with God. And if Jesus Christ is not the One we trust to reconcile us to Father God, we have nothing when our final breath is drawn. I have become so keenly aware of that very thin veil that lies between this life and eternity, and I am compelled to find my soul satisfied in nothing less than His holy presence.  And it's only through the precious, costly shed blood of Jesus that my daily  sins and failures, my selfish and idolatrous thoughts are forgiven.

So each day, each new morning when His mercies are new, I come and receive the beauty of the gospel message...and find peace, purpose and joy in Christ alone!